I’ve been putting off writing today because I’m in a pretty crummy mood. Namely, I’m hungry. I was so proud of myself for making this banana bread steel cut oats with almond milk breakfast in my instant pot this morning. It seemed like such a wholesome and filling breakfast idea. And it was delicious! And fifteen minutes after eating it I was starving. I’ve gotten a bit lax in my diet the last few days with the abundance of cheese and crackers filling every square inch of refrigerator and pantry room. I don’t want to be up and down like this. I want to stay the course and just have these set food rules that I follow ALL THE TIME NO MATTER WHAT. But it’s hard. And discouraging on days like today when I’m really hungry and I just don’t know what to eat. Someone please just make my food for me so I don’t have to make so many decisions all the time.
I’m also really hung up on some negative interactions or incidents I’ve had with people in my life recently. Little things that then brought up stuff that happened with those same people multiple times this year and I just can’t stop stewing over it. I have a very hard time forgiving and forgetting. It’s probably one of my biggest flaws. But it baffles me how some people can be so kind and friendly and then turn out to have zero common decency about other things. It makes me feel stupid for putting in the effort when they apparently care so little in return. It also makes me question the authenticity of all my friendships.
At any rate, I’ve had a very lazy day, which felt….weird. There were plenty of ways I could have spent my time today, but I mostly just read an entire book. I did force myself to take Annie for a walk. I took TWO naps. And we just watched Elf. I should have accomplished at least a little more, but I couldn’t work up the energy.
I think it’ll be a pretty low key week ahead. Normally about this time I’d start stressing about what baking I should do this year, but…I don’t plan on doing any! And it’s such a relief! As much as I like baking, the pressure to do so many things at once to give away to neighbors and family was always just one more thing to try and squeeze in. This year, I’m over it. And I’m good with it! I do need to get started on wrapping presents, though.
Wednesday is the only “big” day this week, with a coffee morning at a friend’s house, the boys have an early release, and Greg will be in Chicago for work. Other than that, my time is surprisingly free! Maybe I can FINALLY catch up on some Hope*Writers classes. They do a live class every Tuesday and every Tuesday I end up being out of the house or desperate for sleep because there’s something big happening that night. I keep planning on watching them later, but haven’t had time. I’m beginning to doubt this is the community for me again because I just don’t seem to have the time for it. I don’t know.
Anyway, this is feeling like a very depressing post so I should probably just end it! My intention for the week is to simply work on my goals for the month. Make healthy food. Wrap some Christmas presents. Read. Walk. Hopefully after a night of sleep and trip to the store to get some more food options will put me in a much better mood tomorrow!