Saturday Reflections 08.24.2019

I’ve decided that the best way to stave off the end of summer depression is to stay really, really busy. I was having a pretty rough time last weekend looking at the very long two and a half week left before school starts. And for the record – I was NOT depressed because summer was coming to an end and I want it to last forever. No, I was feeling the stress and anxiety and guilt that comes with feeling like we didn’t do enough fun things, while also just desperately wanting to school to start so life can go back to normal and I can actually GET STUFF DONE. It’s not even that my kids are so much in my face and needing my time. It’s the extreme mental drain of having to constantly break up fights, enforce rules that should be no brainers after three months together, but somehow aren’t. It’s the NEVER GIVING UP on trying to convince me to change the screen time rules, three months in. It just sucks the life out of me and I’m so, so, so over it. But, my goal for the month was to put them first, so I’ve tried to keep that in mind and stop worrying about my own stuff. Now we’re down to 1.5 weeks. I can do it.

Last Sunday was Shepard’s half birthday. That was another thing adding to my stress because I wanted to try and make it special for him, without going overboard. I tried to ask him if he wanted to go anywhere or do anything and he just kept telling me he wanted $1000 to buy something (not something in particular, just “something”) on amazon. When you get that response to your question over and over again, it kind of makes you not really want to do anything at all. So I did the one thing he eventually admitted to wanting – his favorite homemade pizza. We had that for lunch and then he spent the afternoon at Grandma’s house and I think he just played games with Greg the rest of the night. Very low key.

I had a very early doctor’s appointment on Monday morning getting my toe checked to make sure the procedure was a success. After checking all my vitals the doctor was in the room for literally two seconds to tell me it was fine. Such a waste of a trip to Beaver Dam! Though we got a few groceries and some donuts before coming back home where I spent the rest of Monday working on custom order dolls and just generally trying to get my living spaces back in order. I unpacked all the books I shipped myself home from Book Bonanza. They’re so pretty!

On Tuesday we walked to Sharrow’s, a coffee shop/pharmacy/gift shop down the street. The boys got ice cream and played checkers while I got a coffee and browsed the shop. It was a nice little outing! The boys went to Grandma’s again that night and Greg and I checked out a restaurant that I’ve been wanting to go to for like five years. It was okay, I don’t think we’ll be back. But it was nice that we finally took advantage of one of our kidless nights.

Wednesday was our really busy day. I worked all morning and then we decided to check out Mullen’s Dairy Bar in Watertown for lunch. We ordered so much food, but it was pretty tasty. I’d like to go back there again someday just to get a fancy ice cream.

Then we went to the roller rink – it was the one thing Shepard really wanted to do this summer that we hadn’t done yet. Going that day at that time ended up being a bit of a mistake, though, as there were three buses filled with daycare kids there. It was mass chaos. Caden’s a pretty poor skater and wanted to use a training bar, but they were all taken. Shepard kept complaining that his feet hurt. All in all they probably spent about ten minutes skating around.

Next we went back home to get Annie and walked to the farmers market for their special dog week. I finally got a chance to try a coffee from the coffee truck (it was awesome!), Caden picked out a basket of raspberries, and Shepard bought caramel corn. Annie got a pumpkin peanut butter ice cream treat and a cup full of regular treats. She was acting like a crazed maniac around all the other dogs there, so it was a VERY chaotic trip.

As soon as Greg got home on Wednesday I zipped off to Madison to have a beautiful, wonderful, amazing night of retail therapy. (lol) I think that’s one of the hardest parts of summer, even if it sounds really dumb. I LOVE shopping. Even just grocery shopping. And I love to do it ALONE. I’ve actually managed to go almost the entire summer running errands by myself, often at 6am on Saturdays. But it’s never relaxed or fun – just a necessity. It felt so dang good to go out on my own for a night. And it was totally guilt free because Greg and the boys were at their first kids D&D game. The only annoying thing was that I was so tired. I only got four hours of sleep the night before, plus spent the entire day driving and walking around already. But I treated myself to my first new fall candles of the season at TJMaxx and Marshall’s, got groceries, and meandered Target for awhile. It was glorious.

I had a pretty chill Thursday while the boys had three of their friends over for most of the day. I did have to take Shepard to the eye doctor to get his glasses fixed after the neighbor kid accidentally jumped on his face on the trampoline the other night (and also gave him a bloody nose). My mom came over in the afternoon and we all went to the dog park for awhile. Then we went to Cercis to have a soft pretzel for dinner. It was a good time!

Greg picked up the boys and then my mom and I, plus Cindy and her friend, went to this sign making class at the restaurant. It was so much fun!! It felt so awesome to do something creative that wasn’t doll making. Not that I don’t love doll making, but it was a good reminder that I can find even more joy spreading my creative wings a little. The whole class was so much fun and I’m SO happy with how my sign turned out! I’m definitely signing up for the class again in September. And maybe October. And…maybe just every month. I loved it.

Friday, we stayed home. I worked all day, finally. The pressure is really on to get fall dolls started, though I’m finishing up a few others first. And I’ve been getting so many custom orders! Which I don’t like taking. But I also feel horrible turning away. It’s about that time of the year when I can be justified in saying no, though.

And today. So…let’s just say it was another full day of feeling forgotten and rejected and absolutely stupid for thinking my friends respect me and then finding out that they actually don’t. WHY IS FRIENDSHIP SO HARD? But, to stay positive, my friend Deja DID come over and we had a great morning of crafting and catching up with each other. I finally got around to making this awesome rainbow cloud wall hanging! I saw something similar just hanging on a wall of a crafter’s instagram story at one time a few months ago and the idea really stuck with me. When I was doing a bit more research a few days ago I realized that this is a pretty common craft these days. But I was excited to have carried it out all on my own. I had to do a little wall rearranging in my sewing room to find a place for it – and my new sign – to fit, but I think it worked out well. I really should have spent the day making dolls, but it was worth it to follow through on something FOR ME that I’ve been wanting to do for a really long time.

And that’s been the week! Definitely some negative emotions trying to weigh me down. But staying busy has helped. It gets everyone in a better mood to leave the house for a bit. It also relieves my guilt of feeling like I’m not doing enough with them. But it’s also left very little time to actually work, and that’s stressing me out. But, ONE MORE WEEK. I will survive.

Author: Amy Noe

I'm a maker, a writer, a reader, a wife, and a mom. I love pursuing my creative passions!

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