Saturday Reflections 04.06.2019

Here it is, Saturday again. This week went by so quickly. I just snap my fingers and the week is over. Then the weekends last FOREVER. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I dislike weekends so much. The dread usually sets in around Thursday afternoon and feel pretty down until Sunday night when I perk up again. I think what it really comes down to is that I spend almost every Saturday and Sunday feeling a nice overwhelming mixture of guilt and resentment. Guilt for the days I decide to lay around and read, or go out shopping, or not make a healthy and complete meal. Resentment for the days I try to get a lot of random household chores done and then notice everyone else is just laying around and having fun and it seems so unfair. Guilt because most weekends Greg actually does quite a bit of the more deep cleaning household chores. But resentment because he also stays in bed as long as he possibly can every weekend, leaving me to deal with all the inevitable morning arguments with the boys about games and food. And just anger at my children for always being so shocked that I ask them to help out. I don’t know why they just can’t get it through their heads that if they give us an hour of their time to help clean up the house, they’ll have so much more time for fun when it’s over. But no, everything’s an argument, everything is a battle. Everyone is ALWAYS HUNGRY. It’s completely exhausting.

Today is actually our last free Saturday until the middle of May, so I was determined to just go with the flow and take it easy. I was excited to spend extra time making cinnamon rolls as perfect as possible for breakfast. I let the boys play their games. Greg slept. And then I still ended up in a screaming battle with Shepard because he refused to help Caden carry my packages to the post office before it closed. A simple errand that would take them less than ten minutes after they just played three hours of games. But no, couldn’t do it, because Shepard doesn’t “have to” do anything. That one really pushed me over the edge and now I’m avoiding everyone after a massive mommy meltdown.

Anyway. It was all in all a kind of off week. I haven’t been feeling very well. There are so many little bugs going around. I’m not sick enough to be bedridden, but I feel crappy enough that I just plain haven’t wanted to do anything. I skipped out on yoga because that’s when I started feeling the worst and now I’ve developed Shepard’s mighty cough that mostly comes out when you’re trying to sleep. It sucks. It’s really going to suck if it hangs on for over a month the way his has.

Monday was my typical errand running day. I went to about twice as many stores as usual and still managed to have time for a power nap before the boys got home. Shepard had his well child doctor visit after school and he’s mostly healthy, just shorter than the doctor thinks he should be. So we’re supposed to be sneaking more calcium into his diet to try and get his bones to grow faster.

Tuesday was another unusually busy day. Annie had a grooming appointment, so while she was there I wandered around our closing Shopko, got gas, voted, and then walked around the thrift store until I got the text she was done. I was supposed to have lunch in Madison with a friend, but it ended up getting cancelled. A bummer, but I was a bit relieved too because that’s when I started feeling very run down. It was good to just read and rest in the afternoon.

I’m really ashamed to admit that I didn’t even realize this until mid-morning, but Wednesday was Jack and Rory’s 14th birthday! Somehow in transferring dates to my calendars this year, I missed writing it down. My poor boys did not get their usual birthday celebration, but Caden did give them a ton of treats to try and make up for it.

Thursday, more of the same. Felt crummy, couldn’t get motivated to do anything useful. I did make these homemade buttermints, though, that are amazing and addictive. I made a bigger dinner that night too.

On Friday I finally forced myself to sit down and finish these dolls. They all sold immediately again, which is awesome. I also had a nice coffee date with a friend, grabbed a bunch of chicken that was FINALLY on sale to stock the freezer, and then basically spent the entire rest of the day reading. Like until midnight. And then I coughed and coughed until five when I got up. Which is half of why I’m so crabby today.

Well, I guess it’s time to figure out lunch. I usually wait as long as possible on weekends in hopes that they’ll eventually make their own meals. Definitely wishful thinking! Last Saturday Shepard was crying and screaming “I JUST WANT REAL FOOD! MAKE ME A REAL FOOD!” I tried to step it up with dinner making this week, but once again it’s Saturday and I feel completely unmotivated to cook something “real.” It’s technically supposed to get quite warm today, though it’s cloudy and cool right now. I’m planning on heading out to do a little yard work. Not typically my thing, but I need to be productive, and be alone. More later – I will hopefully finally write my April goals post!

Author: Amy Noe

I'm a maker, a writer, a reader, a wife, and a mom. I love pursuing my creative passions!

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