Saturday Reflections 03.16.2019

I think I’ve cycled through almost every human emotion this past week. Elation, profound sadness, resentment, joy, fear, loneliness, confusion, anger. It’s been a weird week. A busy, emotional, weird week.

I was already feeling pretty off at the start of the week, so I decided to take Monday as a fun day for myself. I ran my necessary errands first thing and then drove around Madison to go to all my favorite stores. I treated myself to a delicious lunch at a restaurant I’ve been wanting to go to for ages. It was a super busy day, but it felt good to do something for me.

Even though I was completely exhausted, I decided to go to that first Scrabble Club meeting. I was on the fence about it, but decided I want to be known as a woman of my word and I said I’d be there, so I went. Shepard was in a pretty horrific mood (which is apparently the norm now that he’s eight), so I just took Caden. And it was so fun! I was nervous about playing with strangers, but I genuinely had a really great time. Caden liked it about half the time and then got fed up that he wasn’t playing with the adults. I wasn’t positive any other kids were going to be there beforehand, so I had him prepped for either scenario and of course he just assumed he’d be playing with the grown ups. Maybe next time. Though I also don’t really think he’s emotionally mature enough for it, as the biggest sore loser of all time. Greg and I played with him for an hour and a half long game on Tuesday night and he was throwing fits after every turn. So…I’m not sure he’ll be going to any more Scrabble Club meetings. But I definitely will! It was awesome just doing something FUN with a group of people.

Tuesday during the day was pretty uneventful. I worked. I spent a long time making a big dinner again. And Scrabble all evening.

Wednesday was probably my last day at the dog park for awhile. It was about 75% solid ice and 25% gushing mud. I can’t really pinpoint what exactly was wrong, but I was in a pretty terrible mood all day Wednesday. It was so gloomy outside too. I just want spring to really be here, without all this in between weather.

I changed things up and took a short morning nap because I had slept so poorly again. Jack and Annie were feeling pretty friendly!

Jack had his ultrasound on Wednesday afternoon. $450 to tell me what they had already assumed – he’s getting old and his kidneys are starting to fail. I guess I’m glad to know it’s not cancer or some kind of disease that would significantly shorten his remaining lifespan. But never fun to fork over that kind of money for anything. He’s trying out some prescription foods now. Poor guy was SO drugged when I picked him up. I waited until the boys got home so I could take them with to comfort him in the car. They both had a hand reached into the carrier to pet him on the drive back, it was really sweet.

I was rushing around to get my first Easter batch finished up and photographed and listed before heading to yoga. And then instagram and facebook broke down, much to everyone’s extreme annoyance.

Yoga was good! I liked it even more than last week. She said she was gentler on us. It didn’t really feel like it at the time, but I wasn’t as sore on Thursday as I was last Thursday. I still wish it didn’t take up my entire Wednesday evening, but I’m liking the class a lot.

Thursday I needed another break. And ACTUAL break, at home, with no responsibilities. I was planning on just reading and relaxing all day, but then I spent most of the day in the kitchen. Which was fine. It was Pi Day, I had to!

I made a grasshopper pie and then an apple galette since I knew three of the grandparents weren’t going to eat the mint one. Always need to make sure everyone is happy when it comes to dessert making!

We met Greg’s parents at Culver’s for an early dinner and then headed to Science Night at Shepard’s school. He partook in some of the activities and spent most of the time trying to hang out with his friends while ignoring the six of us that were there to be with him! Afterward we went back to our house to eat the pie.

On Friday, unfortunately, school was cancelled due to flooding and because the buses were needed to help people evacuate their homes. I read somewhere that this is the biggest snow melt in 130 years. Cities all over Wisconsin are flooded right now after a big spike in the temperature Wednesday and Thursday. It’s really sad how much damage all the flood waters are doing.

Meanwhile, Greg had three different air conditioning companies coming in all day to get quotes on installing a real a/c this year. They’re expensive! Plus because we have two furnaces we’d have to get two air conditioners if we want to cool the whole house. We’re not fully committed yet, but I think we’re going to get one this year for the main level and keep using window units upstairs at night. Maybe we’d get an upstairs unit a few years down the road.

We went on a walk Friday night to check out the flooded streets. Three of my friends live further down this street.

River Road, where we lived for five years in our apartment, has now been completely evacuated. The entire street is under water. We happened to get there right when a news anchor was live on the scene. The waters are expected to continue rising in the next few days. It’s really so sad.

Today there was supposed to be a Winter Fun Day for Shepard’s school, but it was cancelled since the road to get there is flooded and blocked off – plus most of the snow is gone. So we went on a date instead, since it was one of my goals for the month. Though it was actually Shepard’s idea. Totally out of nowhere the other day he announced he wanted to go to Mod Pizza with me. So we went!

We stopped at Marshall’s after – because I always have to go to Marshall’s. Then he insisted on looking for new shoes. He didn’t really NEED them, but Caden got new shoes earlier this week (he DID need them), and Shepard has been obsessing over it. So we went to Kohls and Famous Footwear and finally found some that he is very happy with. We finished our date at Target getting some Starbucks frappuccinos. It was a really nice little date!

So maybe I shouldn’t have started this post by telling you how emotional I was all week without ever explaining why. It’s complicated? I don’t know. I’m fed up with winter and ice and feeling trapped. I had to sign whatever the opposite of a DNR is for Jack when I dropped him off at the vet and it seriously freaked me out that he might die and I’d never see him again, or get terrible news when I picked him back up. We watched Pen15 all week, and it brought up so many emotions about childhood and friendship and loss and how desperately I miss that time in my life when I felt so connected and needed and wanted by my friends. I’ve also just been thinking about how much I emotionally depend on some people and the feeling is absolutely not mutual. And that makes me…weak? Pathetic? A total loser? I wish I were a stronger person on my own. The boys have also been insanely stubborn lately, arguing about EVERYTHING. I had a ten minute stand off with Shepard before our date because he refused to bring his coat in the car. It was 33 degrees outside and above freezing means no coat, don’t you know? He also informed me that when you turn eight you don’t need to listen to your parents anymore. We’ve also been talking about our so far nonexistent anniversary vacation this summer and I’ve been feeling very resentful about how hard it is to plan a trip when we have two kids and three pets and two different sets of grandparents to arrange everything between first. It’s the main reason I go on most trips by myself. SO MUCH EASIER. Anyway. That’s the gist of it. Or at least all the not so fun stuff.

And that was my week! More tomorrow. 🙂

Author: Amy Noe

I'm a maker, a writer, a reader, a wife, and a mom. I love pursuing my creative passions!

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