Look at this, I’m actually writing a Saturday Reflections post ON SATURDAY.
I am so behind, guys. These end of the month/beginning of the month blog posts really seem to pile up on me at the worst time. I mean, I know they’re coming. But with this week also being basically the first week all month I could WORK, it was really hard to prioritize blogging. It’s so frustrating. I know this whole thing is entirely voluntary and nobody is making me write but myself. I just like to be on top of things and it stresses me out to no end that I feel like I’m currently about six blog posts behind where I should be. But…this is my start. Well, technically, my book post a few hours ago was my start. I’m avoiding my end of the month February and beginning of the month March posts to just get right down to business with this last week of my life.
It was honestly a pretty crappy week. Or at least the first three or four days of it. I had a cold and it was only adding to all the sleep issues I’ve had these past couple of months. I was trying to work as much as possible, while also needing to run a bunch of errands, while feeling like crap and being totally exhausted. I was also dealing with some heavy misunderstandings and miscommunications with Greg, and if you don’t feel like you have your partner’s support through the rough times, the depression is only magnified. But I’m not going to dwell on that because I think we’ve resolved things. It just made the first few days of the week really, really hard.
I am definitely fed up with my sleep problems, though. Earlier this week I declared ENOUGH and took every measure I could think of to try and make it better. I started drinking a hot cup of chamomile tea every night and taking melatonin before bed. I forced myself to stay up until at least ten every night – for awhile I figured I should go to sleep as early as I felt like it to try and catch up, but that only resulted in me being fully awake by 3:30 or 4 every morning. I also bought lavender linen spray for my pillow. I ordered a new white noise machine/oil diffuser and diffuse sleep blends of essential oils every night. I guess it’s a little early to tell, but my efforts have been mixed. Last night I actually got a full eight hours of sleep, which is almost unheard of! But the night before was a very choppy five. I’m betting once I start getting more fresh air and exercise every day it’ll get better. Unfortunately, another polar vortex is hitting us tomorrow, so daily walks are still a distant dream.
I finally finished up some dolls on Wednesday morning – my first completed batch in weeks! It felt awesome to sell all seven of them within a few hours. But then I’m always brought down by the people who are angry they didn’t catch my announcement and missed out on a doll they wanted. I literally cannot make everyone happy, which SHOULD mean I don’t even try. But I like to make people happy. It really weighs on me when I can’t. Besides just writing, I feel incredibly behind on doll making. It’s so hard to accept my limitations as a solo artist with a very busy life. Especially with some big holidays coming up. I’m just now working on St. Patrick’s Day dolls, when I should be well into Easter. Especially since I didn’t make any Easter dolls last year so soon after my ankle break. My customers are so anxious for them. I also have a list of people who have contacted me in the last month about custom orders. I really hate custom orders. I try to avoid them for most of the year. But I know they’re waiting and I’d like to get to them soon.
Speaking of my ankle break – Tuesday was the one year anniversary of it happening, Thursday one year since the surgery. It really brought up a lot of PTSD feelings for me. Especially with the solid layer of ice covering every single outdoor surface. Even though I can walk again, I still feel so trapped by my circumstances. I don’t even remember the last time I walked the boys to school, or to the post office, or even around the block. I currently can’t even walk to my own sidewalk because the driveway is so icy. On Monday morning I slipped twice – at the post office and the gas station. Places I can’t avoid! I know part of all this is just in my head and my extreme fear of something like that ever happening again. But this also feels like a ridiculously hard winter. So much snow, so much cold, so much ice. It has taken its toll. Annie’s been pretty sad about it too. On Wednesday afternoon I got so fed up that I gathered up the boys and we all went to the dog park for twenty minutes, despite the cold and wind and ice. It felt so great to be outside. I miss it so, so much.
On Wednesday night I did something I feel like I should probably be doing a whole lot more often – I recruited Shepard’s help with dinner. My feelings on making dinner every night are pretty mixed. Some days I absolutely love it. Some days I get pretty resentful that it’s always on me. Shepard is always eager to learn new kitchen skills, so I finally took him up on it and taught him how to make tortillas. He also sliced up the peppers on his own. I don’t often have the patience for it, but I’d like to try a lot harder to teach him how to make more things. It’d be so awesome if in a few years he could take over dinner a night or two a week!
On Thursday I just remember being really busy! Two days later, I don’t even know with what!! But Shepard had an eye appointment after school – his vision is getting better, no new lenses (or patching) needed. We went to dinner at the bowling alley with Greg’s parents which was great.
And Friday was the big Vintage Shop Hop. It’s this huge event that over 500 stores in Wisconsin and Illinois took part in this year! I always go with my parents (except last year, right after surgery). I love the treasure hunt of finding unique things. My house seems pretty complete in terms of decorating, so this year I was on the lookout for doll accessories and inspiration. I think I was pretty successful! It was a good day, I just didn’t feel that great. Very little sleep combined with cold medicine that apparently gives me a stomachache and a headache that never went away.
After my much better night of sleep last night, my mom and I went out to a couple more local stores this morning. I wasn’t as successful, but it was still fun. Of course there are a million other things I could have been doing, but the shop hop only comes around once a year, so it was worth another half day of responsibility avoidance!
The only other big news of the week – I booked my flight to Texas in August! I bought my ticket to Book Bonanza way back in October, but I’ve been waiting on flights for logistical reasons. I then decided since this is currently the only vacation on the books for the rest of the year, I’m going to darn well make the most of it! So I’m extending the trip an extra two days and staying in a fancy downtown Dallas hotel. Even though it was totally unnecessary being five months away, I spent a good two or three hours this afternoon researching the best restaurant options to check out while I’m there. I am going to eat so much Tex Mex that week. It’s going to be AMAZING. I’m super excited about the whole thing!
And that’s about it for my week! Now that life is maybe settling down a bit, I can get back in the habit of writing when I’m supposed to write! After I catch up, hopefully in the next few days. 🙂
