Saturday Reflections 04.21.2018

I’ve been putting off writing today because I don’t feel like it’s been a particularly exciting week. I’ve been trying to write honestly about this whole broken ankle experience, but I think it’s getting tiresome for some people to read. I’m never going to be one to gloss over the hard things and pretend my life is perfect. And I think I try to always collect and write about the good things as well. But some days, especially these last two months, are just plain tough. And like it or not, I’m going to keep being honest about it. Because if I can’t be myself on my own blog that nobody is forced to read if they don’t want to, then what is the point?

I’m also a little irritated with myself and how this blog has basically just become weekend journal entries. I used to have a lot more to say! And some days that inspiration does strike, but for one reason or another I don’t feel as comfortable as I used to about freely speaking my mind. My kids are getting older and they know how to google things, so I’m never quite sure how much I should share about them anymore. I want to protect their privacy, especially when talking about our family challenges. And some weeks, those challenges are so overwhelming, but I don’t want to be the kind of person that just complains about how completely HARD parenting is. So I say nothing. But even all the fun posts – books, podcasts, tv, etc. It’s all fallen to the wayside! I want to be better. I love writing these posts every weekend. But it’s probably super boring to not have anything to discuss in between weekends – ever! Hopefully the coming months might hold a little more variety in my posts.

On Monday I woke up with a horrendous headache that never let up the entire day. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a headache that bad. To top it off – I didn’t have the alone day I was hoping for because it was a SNOW DAY. In the middle of April. So we were all home and we all got to go to my physical therapy appointment together. Fun times!

Side note – I’ve been doing a lot of baking lately. And some cooking. I’ve pretty much taken over dinner making again. It’s a big accomplishment for me every day, but I’m finding myself resentful off and on about it again. It’s just such an exhausting endeavor. If I had a sous chef to gather all my ingredients and utensils for me it would be a million times easier! But that’s not often the case. It does make me feel good to make delicious food again, though.

Tuesday was a normal day – FINALLY. Annie got to go to the dog park with Harris again, which she was super excited about! I put her leash on early and she immediately sat down and stared unblinking at the door waiting to see who would come.

Tuesday and Wednesday were big work days. I’ve basically gone back to full time this week. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing because I’m having a really hard time forcing myself to stop to do my exercises, eat real meals, rest, etc. I get so focused when I create and never want to stop. I’m not sure my body was ready for that yet, but I’m forging ahead.

Wednesday was also a scheduled late start. Greg was planning on going into work, but there was a big storm rolling in, he wasn’t feeling very well, AND our basement was flooded. He had to take me to physical therapy and that’s when the rain/sleet/snow started up again. The weather this spring has just been awful! We were supposed to have a date night that included a trip to Woodman’s I was super excited about. But that didn’t happen. I can’t even tell you how desperate I am to grocery shop on my own again. I tried to appease my disappointment by scheduling a Woodman’s grocery pick up for Greg after work on Thursday. Not the same as being able to do it myself, but close enough, I guess. 🙁

Oh, and the plumber had to come and snake our pipes. Tree roots were the cause this time. It’s always something! At least it wasn’t our fault.

The snow was so ridiculous that Thursday was yet another late start. We are having way too much family time lately. Seriously. It’s kind of freaking me out that school ends in like six weeks? I’ll probably just be gaining my full independence back by then and it will swiftly be taken away as I’m back to full time parenting for three months. Honestly, it makes me want to cry. I value these school year months SO much. I’m not ready for summer. I’m not ready for listening to NONSTOP bickering and arguing and negotiating and whining. I’m definitely not ready for it after three months of not being able to go anywhere or do anything on my own. I’ve barely even had any days at home on my own since I broke my ankle! Greg is usually home half the week to take me to PT. And they never, ever leave the house on weekends. It’s too much for my desperately introverted needs.

Anyway. Thursday was also my first Craft Night I wrote about last week. My friend Carrie came and we had a great time catching up while we worked on our independent projects. Shepard enjoyed hanging out to interrogate her on what she was doing. Not really in the plans, but it was fine. I was dead tired by the time I went to bed, but it was worth it.

Friday was finally a normal day. Or abnormal, because Greg went into work, which he normally never does on Fridays. So I had some alone time! I worked a lot. Took a nap. And then got ready for a little date night.

We dropped the boys off with Grandma and finally ate at that restaurant I tried to go to with Laura last week, but it was closed. I wouldn’t really call it a nice place to go on a date, but the food was decent. I really liked the spicy pork taco. We stopped at the grocery store on the way home to get ice cream and watched tv the rest of the night.

Today’s been kind of a catch up day. I worked for a few hours this morning, and then spent a really long time reading and trying to rest. I made three marinades, cut up a ton of chicken, and got those future meals in the freezer. I made a salted caramel sauce to eat with my ice cream. I made lunch earlier. And the big thing – I walked around the block!! Now that the snow is cleared from the sidewalks with the warming temperatures (finally!), I’d like to take at least one small walk every day. It definitely beats walking in circles around the house the way I have been doing! I’ve actually been pretty lax in my PT exercises these last few days. I know they’re vitally important to my recovery, but….they hurt. They’re a lot of work. And they take up so much time I could be using for something that FEELS more important. Starting tomorrow I’ll really begin upping my game. I need to power through the pain and get walking! I NEED my independence back.

And that’s been the week! It was pretty discouraging with all the snow and continued terrible weather, but I’m hoping the future will be brighter now that spring is maybe, possibly, here to stay! I’m excited about taking some short walks outside, even though it already was annoying my kids to have to walk so slow. But I got to be out with Annie! And once the dog park gets less muddy, maybe I can start tagging along there too. It’s getting better. I’ll get through it. 🙂

Author: Amy Noe

I'm a maker, a writer, a reader, a wife, and a mom. I love pursuing my creative passions!

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