Hello, and happy St. Patrick’s Day!
I hope everyone is having a fun filled Saturday. This is usually one of my favorite days of the year, so I’ve kind of been drowning in melancholy all day because I can’t really do anything to make the holiday special. We have an annual tradition of having a family photo shoot on St. Patrick’s Day too, but I’m not even up to doing that. I feel so grubby and gross. Living in pajamas and sweatpants day in and day out really isn’t that much fun. But actually “getting ready” now takes like ten times longer than it used to, which is extremely annoying. And never really worth it. I’m pretty sure even if I did get ready and insist on a family photo, the boys wouldn’t cooperate. They don’t want to cooperate with ANYTHING these days.
Anyway. As you can already tell, it’s been another rollercoaster week of emotions. I’m usually pretty good in the day. I can focus on how I want to spend this down time, read a lot, take naps, and still see the bright side. But by the end of the night I’m so sore, exhausted, and sick to death of listening to my kids fight and argue with each other and Greg about literally every single thing possible. Then I start feeling sorry for myself and how bleak the next few weeks and months look. I found out last night how much this whole accident is going to cost us, which adds another devastating layer to the depression. I’ve also just never wanted to clean so badly in my life. All the things I complained about in the past, I would do anything to be able to do them now. I want to sweep and vacuum, clean and put away dishes, organize the clutter and wipe down the counters. I’d also LOVE to be able to cook my own meals again. Even more importantly – SHOP for the things we need! While I admit the break is occasionally nice, it’s so hard going from doing all those little things that make a home run smoothly to not being able to do any of it. Greg is doing a great job and the absolute best he can, but he still is only one person and can’t do all of it.
There have definitely been a lot of highlights this week. Generous friends have still been providing us with meals, which is awesome. I think tonight is the first day in almost three weeks we need to make a meal from things we have stocked in the freezer.
On Monday afternoon, my friend Liz stopped by with a Thai chicken salad and something she picked up for me to add to Greg’s Easter basket. Later in the day my friend Carmen dropped off two ready to be cooked meals, two desserts, and a variety of extra food. So much generosity! I know I didn’t mention by name the people that brought food the first two weeks, but we were extremely appreciative of that too. (Thank you Katy, Kristin, Brittany, Jenny, Cindy, and Mom!!!) It makes life SO much easier when Greg just has to warm something up for us.
On Tuesday, my friend Nora went to Target and picked up a huge variety of Easter basket fillers and snacks for me to go through. I picked out what I wanted and she returned the rest. It was extremely helpful in easing my mind about filling those baskets! She also brought me a Starbucks frappuccino, which was a delicious lunch! 🙂
On Tuesday afternoon, my friend Amy picked up Annie to take her to the dog park. The dogs got so muddy that she then brought them back to her house and gave Annie a bath!! Totally above and beyond! I was SO happy Annie got to have a great playdate with a dog she loves to play with!
Greg went to work on Wednesday and my mom came to stay with me again. We just chilled and opened up my first FabFitFun box together and then tried on a ton of lipsticks. It was a nice day! And also Pi Day. We had the delicious salad from Liz and the awesome apple pie from Carmen. I’m so glad we had a pie to eat!
Thursday was my first day home alone. Greg stayed home long enough to take the boys to school and came back in time to pick them up. So it wasn’t a full day, but a good seven hours. It felt good to be alone for awhile. Though it also kind of stressed me out. Being left alone implies that I’m independent enough to do everything for myself. Except I still can’t really do a whole lot. But I feel like I have to because the expectation is now there. If any of that makes sense. I think I overdid it on Thursday and was in a lot of pain by the end of the night.
Annie also got to go to the dog park again on Thursday with my friend Deja. Deja doesn’t even have a dog, but she took her there for quite a long time. I’m so grateful people have been helping with this!
Thursday night I also pushed myself to finish those three custom order dolls. I had zero motivation for it, but I knew they needed to get done. Now I just have one left that needs to be made from start to finish that’s already paid for. It’s for my cousin-in-law and she’s fine with waiting, but it super stresses me out having that overdue order sitting in my etsy shop. I think I might try and do it in the next few days, if I can figure out how to use the sewing machine with my left foot.
Oh, AND on Thursday night, Greg’s parents came over with Chinese food for dinner, which was delicious. Thursday was busy!
Friday was pretty uneventful, with the exception of my mom stopping by to take Annie for a long walk and my friend Carrie dropping off a meal and staying to chat with me for awhile. In the mail I got two books I picked out for myself. I’ve been eyeing that book on the left up for months. I just didn’t buy it because I never figured I’d give myself the permission of time to do “an unhurried adventure in creative mindfulness.” Well, now all I’ve got is time!
And today – St. Patrick’s Day. Thanks to my foresight a few months ago, the leprechauns were able to bring Annie some new themed toys (priorities). Thanks to Nora, the leprechauns were able to bring Lucky Charms and accompanying chapsticks. And thanks to my mom, the leprechauns could bring their annual pile of gold chocolate coins! This is one of the boys’ favorite traditions that they get so excited about. Simple, but effective. They both spent the whole morning hunting around the house, both in and out, trying to catch a leprechaun so they could get three wishes.
We’re not really fans of traditional Irish food, but I can’t go a St. Patrick’s Day without Irish soda bread! I printed out the easiest recipe I could find and planned to talk Greg through it today. But he actually made it entirely by himself while I was upstairs taking a nap. It turned out pretty good! Especially for someone who never, ever bakes! That was our lunch. I remembered about an hour ago that in like January I bought a bag of shamrock shaped pasta, so that will be our dinner.
Annoyingly, my pain levels have been about the same all week. For the first two weeks I could feel a definite improvement each day, which was encouraging. But it seemed like getting my staples out on Monday really set me back. It hurt so much more than I was expecting and seemed to make my entire leg so much more sensitive. I also had some steri strips placed all down the incisions which were giving me flaming bouts of itchiness off and on all week. NOT FUN. I finally took them off this morning, so hopefully that problem is gone! I started sleeping on the downstairs twin bed at night, so I can lay in regular positions (versus on my back with my legs super elevated on the couch, where I spend all daytime hours). It helps me sleep better, but it’s probably not the greatest to go all night with my leg barely elevated. My pain levels in the morning are pretty high. Oh well, not going to change. My back cannot handle staying in that couch position 24 hours a day. It feels so cramped up and weak right now.
And that’s been my week! I’m happy to say that I followed through on my goals and did reach for my book more often than my phone. I finished those dolls. And I wrote something almost every day. I think maybe last night was the only day I didn’t. Just little journal entries, though I also started a gratitude journal to try and focus on the positives in my life. Writing helps. 🙂
Enjoy the night!