Is anybody else having a lot of attitude problems with their kids lately? This last week has been rough around here. I don’t really know what to say about it, other than that it’s really discouraging. More and more often I feel like such a failure as a mom because I’ve lost basically all control over my children. They’re constantly ganging up on me with their backtalk and snotty attitudes, ALWAYS looking for a loophole in every single thing I say, just so they can argue with me about it. It’s worn me down to just about more than I can handle this week.
I want to be a gracious, fun, and loving mom. But day after day I feel like they box me into this corner and the only thing I can do is scold or disagree or get angry at them. I want to hide from them because it feels like they force me to be this ugly and terrible person that I really don’t want to be, but I don’t know how to not be her anymore. It’s been a hard week. For a lot of reasons, but this one especially.
Anyway, despite all the wallowing in negative emotions, it’s been a fairly productive week. As you might recall, I really wanted to spend most of this week taking care of myself and trying to recharge after the insanity the first half of the month brought to my life. I spent a lot of time reading every day and let myself take lengthy naps each afternoon. I had a reward lunch at Chili’s on Monday for surviving the garage sale. And I did some cleaning, but tried not to stress out or be too worried about any of it. As always, the days went by too quickly and they weren’t quite as fulfilling as I had hoped. But at least I felt a little break from the pressure I usually put on myself.
My biggest accomplishment of the week was getting my garden planted and fenced off. It was probably technically done in a timely manner for Wisconsin weather, but I felt like this has been hanging over me forever. So it was such a huge relief to finally get things planted! My father-in-law came over on Tuesday night to rototill the big vegetable garden and a little sunflower/wildflower garden I’m putting in next to the garage. Then I spent all of Wednesday morning putting up the fence that will hopefully keep the bunnies out, and planting our seedlings. I planted two kinds of carrots, two kinds of radishes, jalapenos, some variety of sweet pepper, two kinds of peapods, a gourd mix, mini pumpkins, and mini white pumpkins. We are feeling very ambitious this year! I left enough room in the garden to buy some bigger pepper plants and a single cucumber plant. We’re big pepper fans and like to plant every variety we can find. Caden also has some container herb gardens going by our backdoor, so we probably need to add some bigger plants to those too. We definitely have a lot going on with the gardens this year!
The downside of gardening is that I’m now very aware that grass allergy season has begun! I was pretty sore the second half of the week just from all the gardening work, and then add on mega allergies, some pms, and a whole lot of arm pain from longer walks with Annie – it’s been rough! I should probably start doing some kind of yoga to try and be more limber and a lot less tense. But I think this almost daily and never do anything about it.
I also spent the last couple of days getting back to work. Finally! It’s really hard to find motivation when I’m feeling so crappy, both mentally and physically. But I pulled it together and really got to work this weekend. I finished a couple of patriotic Annies and I’m so happy with how they turned out! It’s always so thrilling to finish a new set of dolls.
Moving on to this week… First of all, there are only nine days of school left. Cue the hyperventilating. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to handle summer. After nine months of both boys being gone all day…it’ll be an adjustment, for sure. But yeah. Just nine days left on my own. Technically only seven because Greg works at home on Fridays. I want to be productive during these remaining days, but I also want to enjoy the quiet while I still have it! I need to find a good balance so I can go into summer with a great attitude.
My top priority in the next few days is continuing to work. I’d like to get another batch of patriotic dolls done as soon as possible. Sales have been few and far between this month and I need to remedy that asap. If I don’t keep pushing out new dolls, I don’t get the sales. So Monday and Wednesday and most of Thursday are devoted to sewing.
Wednesday night is Caden’s last night of soccer. I feel like we really got ripped off with this soccer program. Only three games were scheduled and two of them got rained out. One practice was rained out. Twice the coach didn’t show up so a parent had to step in. And the few remaining practices never had the same coach twice. I’m not sure if it was all just a lot of bad coincidences, or if they’re always this unorganized. I don’t want to be the parent that attacks the lady in charge for how messed up it all has been. But I’m still a little disappointed. Caden definitely had fun the days he did play, though.
I also need to get ready for next weekend! It’s our 11th anniversary and we’re going on a little getaway. The boys are going to grandma’s and Annie is having her first boarding experience. I’ll have a lot of packing to do on Friday. And some more research to try and find a few potential restaurants and places Greg and I can go in between relaxing at the cottage. I also just really want to be in a good headspace for the weekend. So the more I can get done earlier this week the better.
Monday – Grilled cheese, maybe?
Tuesday – Sweet and Spicy Chicken and Waffles
Wednesday – Probably something crockpot-y…
Thursday – Steak? Maybe? I’m really not prepared to be making this meal plan lol
Friday – Pizza
Have a good week!